issues much?

Whats wrong with us women? Seriously what is wrong with us? We can never be happy,  never satisfied with ourselves. We  are always too fat, too thin, too tall, too short, our hairs curly and we hate it, our hairs straight and we hate it. Why are we such self loathing creatures? Is it our nature or nurture? Is society dictating how we feel about ourselves or do are we women innately have a constant desire to please and in such seek perfection in us.

I was watching a documentary last night on this subject. The presenter moved from anorexic tweens, to ex-models who had body dysmorphia to women having plastic surgery. They were asking 5-6 year olds to point to different body types, asked which body type would have the least friends they chose the overweight figure, when asked why they stated 'because she was fat'.

The 11 year old anorexics broke my heart, truly broke my heart. Here we have children starving themselves to death to be thin.  And why not, we are a society where ultra thin equals normal and beautiful. Constantly bombarded with unrealistic and "perfect" appearances  driven by airbrushed images. All I could think about was my daughter and how it would drive me insane if I had to watch her starve herself to death in order to reach a totally distorted view of beauty.

The women having plastic surgery just annoyed me. The new fad in the US (surprise surprise) was having foot surgery. YES you heard it, FOOT surgery. Why pray tell? So women with wide feet can fit into stylish shoes, namely heels. Tell me this isn't annoying or stupid? The surgeon claimed one woman asked for one of her toes to be chopped off so she could fit in to these shoes. Someone shoot me. Another was vaginal laser surgery. Having a 16 year old punani in a 30 year old body. Again, major issues for women who have nothing better to do with themselves.

 I was totally mesmerised, we all know these things to be true and prevalent but watching it made me realise how truly stupid we really are. What is with the quest to have a homogeneous and unnatural look? Blonde, large breasted barbie doll waisted clones. I think we need to question our view on normality. We all have issues with ourselves, some minor, some major and as Muslims we need to work and reflect on how we can start braking down these negative images imprinted in our minds before it reflects on our beautiful children. Woe to me if  my daughter grows up believing shes not the beautiful intelligent girl she is.


  1. Mashallah Ebs you are so spot on this issue its a fast epidemic happening world over USA, Canada, Europe, Asia all over. People are trying too hard to fit into what society tells them is beautiful and attractive..thin is in so strave yourself, throw up your food, plastic surgery is in to go under the knife...what a bunch of b.s. we need to start loving ourselves as we are and teaching the next generation to love themselves as they are not for what they are not. What true saddens me with this picture are the kids in african and other countries who are STARVING to death from lack of food, yet the ones in the countries with the food are either starving themselves to death ( literally many times ) or over eating themselves to death and obesity, its always one extreme or another. We need to stop seeking the approval of magazines tv models and media in general to tell us whats beautiful and find the beauty in ourselves.

  2. Well done Ebru. It is a sad reality that the materialist obsessions and the external beauty is what makes a woman attractive. The oppression of women and the oppression of the image of women has prevailed. There is always something we will find as women, which we dislike about ourselves, it is human nature not to say Alhamdulilah and mean it. Like you said we complain we are too tall, too short, too dark, too light, but come on if it was not a part of our individual beauty would ALLAH have created us this way. We are not ugly, it is the rules and regulations that define what beauty is in this day in age that are UGLY. And the sad part, most of the time we allow it to take over our way of thinking.

    Think about this, I saw something that would make anyone think twice (well, anyone with half a brain that is) a lady from Ethiopia got a divorce for one reason or the other (mum of 2). Anyway she is stunning, very beautiful, well her ex-husband was not happy about the divorce and decided to make the decision with the help of satan to pour acid all over her and beat her......... Yes you heard right, the mother of his 2 children; pour acid all over her. The skin on her face, back, arms, eye lids, scalp, hair, breasts all have been literally melted off. Her skin color transformed from black to white in an instant. I thought to myself, death would be better for her (ALLAH knows best).

    Beauty is not what is on the outside, but what is on the inside however common this cliché may sound. The external beauty will disappear, whether through freak accidents (may ALLAH protect us all) or through the obvious, old age. But one's personality, belief in one's self and eman is with them till the end.

    May ALLAH protect our girls from becoming susceptible to this image, and our boys from chasing it. And may ALLAH make us successful in creating young men and women who believe in themselves whatever others think and in the process may they always say ALHAMDULILAH, amen.

  3. Beautiful Whbet, Im glad this topic has us all thinking!!

  4. Spot on Ebs! Societies unrealistic standards that people are trying to live up to but who is it that dictates what is beautiful and what is not. You could be drop dead gorgeous but if you have the personality of an a$$ then truly you are an ugly person no matter how beautiful you are from the outside. I see it day in and day out with the kids at school, they are on diets and they are 12, its so sad! Years ago there was a study done where they asked african american girls what is considered beautiful and all these afro americans idea of beauty was to be white and fair skinned, they all chose the anglo look to be considered beautiful. Now in the middle east and asia, ppl are bleaching their gorgeous skins to lighten themselves up because society has dictated that white is beautiful! Well im sorry im no racist but i like me self some chocolate!!!!!!!
    We can be critical of ourselves but it just depends on why we are being critical, is it for our health? or is it to fit into societies standards! Frankly i dont give a sh@t about society anymore and the more people start to realise the better off we will be. People dont want to be anyones slaves but frankly they have become slaves to societies standards!


  5. Totally agree. Lolll at the choc comment, and I hate being so white, Id love a bit of a tan!!

  6. I think it starts with the family. Tell your kids they're gorgeous, wonderful, and remind them to thank God every day. Get them involved in sports and lots of activities (with a balance of course) and don't let them get those disgusting female magazines with those zombie models. Make it more important to be healthy than skinny. And never tell them they're fat!! Even if they are. Instead, figure out some way to help them lose weight, but never say, "Woah, kiddo! Looking big from behind!! You're one fattie!"