Know what I LOVE?

Ill tells ya what I love. I love peoples confidence. You know people who are pretty average looking but seem to think they are the most stunning creatures on earth. They have close up pictures of their face and attitude to boot.  I'm not being sarcastic, hell no. But I'm also not speaking of those women with the duck face pose, lips pouted and face to the side, lol, this my friend I must say I DETEST. I also hate hijabis with overly sexual poses and clothing, a whole other topic. Why do I digress so?

Anyway, the reason why I think people with confidence are fab is because of my total lack of IT. Yes I agree a woman with lack of confidence who has pictures of herself on a blog seems very oxymoron-ish but its true. Just of late I've been able to have pictures of my face, here and on my FB, but they are all photos with conditions. Want to know them? must be taken minus flashlight-I HATE flashlight, I'm white as it is and the flashlight, minus the ton of make up makes me look downright GHOSTLY!

2. photos must be taken with my camera, this way I get to choose the keepers and turfers, hell no to my friends putting up fugly pics of me!

3.At LEAST 5 shots have to be taken cos damgnammit, at least one of them will come out half decent!!

At this age I've pretty much figured out why I feel this way about myself, reasons I care not to divulge so peoples feelings aren't hurt. Dont get me wrong I'm very confident in other areas, I know I'm a caring, loyal, intelligent, fun, creative person. I think I look pretty good for my age and for a mumma of three. My problem has been my face. I don't think I'm ugly, but I also don't think I'm attractive enough, and for some reason it matters to me. Not so much as it did, but it does affect my confidence on occasion.

I remember a few incidences, one in particular stands out and maybe this will illustrate the extent of my lack of confidence. Once was when I was in high school I was walking home when a group of Turkish guys driving past were cat calling out to me, I saw them drive up and do a u-turn to come back and out of my shyness/lack of confidence I ran into the local 7-Eleven. Why? to hide, I thought to myself they may think I look attractive from afar but once they got closer would think yuck and make it obvious and that would really hurt me. I have issues I know.

Alhamdulillah Im a lot better, I can actually listen to compliments now, in the past when my husband would compliment my looks Id sing over him or say I cant hear it. Now I can hear it and thank people. I can only get better yes? Inshallah, all I want is not to care, there are people dying in Palestine, Syria, Somalia everyday and here I am caring about something so vain as my looks. God help us all!


  1. I love honest and exposed posts like this. I feel like it keeps a blog more "real" and personal.

    like you said, there are extremely average people who radiate confidence and it seems to enhance their appearance.
    there is also the opposite... extremely beautiful people who lack confidence even though they have no reason to feel insecure.

    Each person has their own struggle when it comes to being comfortable with how they look.
    it helps me to think that it doesn't matter what other people think of me, or even what i think of myself, but rather what Allah thinks. and then i realize the importance of inner beauty because in my opinion, that is what makes a person glow and look attractive. when you look at it that way, it becomes easier to take the focus off physical appearance.


  2. Beautifully put Sarah and I agree 100%. I make friends with people who have beautiful souls thats all the matters but as you said we all have our own demons we deal with. Yep I also agree with the first line, this is how I started my blog and got lost in the fashion side. Hopefully more like this post will be up:)

  3. Really love this raw post. I agree with the above comment..inner beauty and confidence far outshines exterior beauty. Honestly I think you are very radiant even when I can't see your face in the photo. You have a cuteness about you with your poses and your aura. Also your outfits are very confident..not everyone can pull off those bright shoes and long skirts!

    I really laughed out loud to that cat's so true! and as a fellow extremely gostly pale girl I tend to get anxious around flash photography. and yes you have to wear tons of makeup to really show up in them. Steer away from anything luminescent in your makeup on a night like that (matte foundation/powders) and wear some blush or neutral color on the cheeks to look more 3D.

    1. Feda your too lovely! Im glas someone finally agrees re flash, my friends look at me weirdly when I say I had night shots, none of them have my complexion! Oh and Im really bad with make up, I put eye liner and a lil blush on sometimes and ppl think Im not wearing any make up lol

  4. you know I have actually always admired your natural beauty and wished I could walk out without any eyeliner and feel confident... you are pretty Ebru, mashaallah, but you seriously need help woman! :) crazyyyyyy :)

  5. Ah Gons thats so lovely of you to say,and YES I agree I need help lol Im the first to admint it:))